BREAKING NEWS!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Sprint, the nation’s third largest cellular phone company just announced the commencement of a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Under these terms the reins of the corporation are being turned over to a court appointed trustee who will either attempt to keep the company afloat or, based on his examination of the books, will force Sprint to sell assets to repay creditors. This reporter has learned from an unnamed source the trustee plans to shut all company operations down and liquidate assets to clear the books thus ending NASCAR’s affiliation with Sprint. These findings were shortly confirmed by a company spokesman.

Less than two hours later NASCAR’s CEO Brian France was cornered by reporters outside the racing company’s offices in Charlotte, North Carolina. When asked about Sprint’s announcement and what that means to NASCAR, Mr. France made a stunning, completely unexpected statement as he rambled on, almost in tears saying the France family has decided to shed its ownership shares in all NASCAR endeavors. When questioned who would be willing and more importantly able to step up and purchase the family’s estimated $7.5 billion in NASCAR holdings, Mr. France simply hung his head and mumbled something about later. He was then helped away by several NASCAR officials… Within an hour a special news conference was held in the lobby of NASCAR’s headquarters. Without a single member of the France family present Walmart’s CEO Mike Duke was introduced to the gathered throng of reporters and dumbfounded NASCAR employees.

A short prepared speech was made in which Mr. Duke informed the assembly that Walmart had been approached by NASCAR CEO Brian France to see if the largest retailer in the world would be interesting in assuming Sprint’s former position as sponsor of the championship series. Without a moment’s hesitation, Walmart made their own proposal. It was an offer that NASCAR’s first family couldn’t refuse. Effective immediately, Walmart is not only the primary sponsor of NASCAR’s premier racing series, it’s also the majority owner of NASCAR and International Speedway Corporation. Mr. Duke also let it be known that negotiations are underway with Mr. Bruton Smith concerning Walmart’s purchase of Speedway Motorsports, Inc.

Mr. Duke, who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, then described some of the things he and his associates are considering to re-invigorate NASCAR.

First, the premier series will from now on be known as the Walmart Cup Series. With an overhead projector running, the gathered news people and now sobbing NASCAR employees were treated to Mr. Duke’s vision of the sport in the future…

The new Cup Championship Trophy will be selected in a nationwide vote, just go to your local neighborhood Walmart and find the soon to be installed NASCAR Department where all things NASCAR will be found. Here are the two choices:



(Will Kevin Harvick be the first to hoist the winning selection?)
Walmart will now have exclusive rights to market all things NASCAR! In a related comment, Mr. Duke stated in the future all race purses will include fifteen minute shopping sprees to the winners!


Second, Mr. Duke announced there will be an immediate weekly competition to fill the position of Miss Walmart at each race on the schedule. The overhead projectionist quickly got to work putting up shots of a few of the candidates…




The former Miss Sprint Cup Monica Palumbo was on hand… You’re kidding, right?

Third, it was revealed that NASCAR, based upon the fan’s outcry concerning the quality of television commentators, has taken over control of who will handle the chore… Again the projector was used to display Walmart’s choices…

Darrell Waltrip and Rusty Wallace!!! Mr. Duke stated these two were the overwhelming favorites in Bentonville, Arkansas!

Fourth, the name of the acquired racetracks will henceforth be referred to as Walmart Speedways. Every facility will feature electric cart seating sections!

Fifth, Mr. Duke described Walmart’s marketing prowess and how their methods will be used to influence the masses…

Finally, this week’s Miss Walmart winner was announced!

Look for her in Victory Lane at Richmond!


Mr. Duke wants you to remember:

In closing, the world famous Walmart synchronized dancers were on hand to make a fitting end to this huge day in the history of NASCAR… Dancing to the Kenny Loggins’ tune “THIS IS IT!”

Who knows, maybe there will be Elvis sightings at the NASCAR events!

Is Sex Work?

I found this in my Inbox today and thought it would be a good one to post here...

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.


While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure"?

A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.



There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee.

What was HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

Bless the enlisted man.

SOS! College Football's Toughest 2010 Schedules

The 2010 College Football Season Is Upon Us!

Here's a listing of the twenty-five schools entering the season with the toughest schedules in front of them based upon collegefootballpoll.com's preseason rankings on all 120 Division I schools and sportsnetwork.com's FCS Division preseason rankings.

NOTE: The FCS poll is needed since several of the big schools find it necessary to play schools from the lesser division in their big home stadiums. Never forget, college football is all about the money.

Now remember, the number given under SOS is the average rank of each opponent these schools have on their 2010 schedules.

So... Here are the schools playing the toughest schedules:

-Conference-Division—School-------Rank----SOS
1- SEC --------West------Alabama--------4-----40.08
2- Big XII----South-----Oklahoma-------7-----41.17
3- PAC TEN--------------UCLA---------48-----45.00
4- PAC TEN--------------Oregon St. ---17-----45.08
5- PAC TEN--------------Washington---53-----45.08
6- ACC--------Coastal---N. Carolina---13-----47.00
7- Big XII-----North-----Iowa State--- 70-----47.33
8- Big XII-----South-----Texas------------2-----47.92
9- Big XII-----South-----Texas Tech----19-----49.08
10 SEC---------East-------Florida----------5-----49.42
10 SEC---------West------LSU-----------24-----49.42
12 SEC---------East-------Vanderbilt—108----49.75
13 SEC---------East-------S. Carolina—29-----51.42
14 Big XII-----South-----Ok. State----43------51.83
15 ACC-------Coastal----Ga. Tech-----12------52.17
16 ACC-------Coastal----Miami (FL)—23-----52.33
16 IND.---------------------No. Dame---57------52.33
18 Big XII-----North-----Colorado-----69------53.00
19 ACC-------Atlantic----Florida St.—46-----53.17
20 ACC-------Coastal-----Va. Tech-----8------53.67
21 Mtn. West---------------BYU--------16------53.83
22 SEC----------East------Tennessee---73------54.42
23 Mtn. West--------------UNLV--------83-----54.75
24 Big Ten-----------------Penn State—11-----55.33
25 SEC----------West-----Miss. State—56-----55.38

That breaks down to 7 SEC schools, 6 Big XII schools, 5 ACC schools, 3 PAC TEN schools, 2 Mountain West schools, 1 Big Ten school and the independent Notre Dame.

Here are the Top 25 schools according to collegefootballpoll.com’s preseason Major College Football Poll with their SOS rating to the right:

-Conference-Division—School-------Rank----SOS
1- WAC------------------Boise State----1-------64.58
2- Big XII-----South---Texas -----------2-------47.92
3- Mtn. West------------TCU-------------3------73.75
4- SEC--------West-----Alabama--------4------40.08
5- SEC--------East------Florida----------5-------49.42
6- Big Ten---------------Ohio State ----6--------63.64
7- Big XII-----South---Oklahoma -----7--------41.17
8- ACC-------Coastal--Va. Tech--------8-------53.67
9- Big XII-----North---Nebraska-------9--------63.42
10- PAC TEN-----------Oregon -------10-------70.83
11- Big Ten--------------Penn State ---11-------55.33
12- ACC------Coastal--Ga. Tech -----12-------52.17
13- ACC------Coastal--N. Car.---------13------47.00
14- SEC-------West----Arkansas ------14------60.75
15- Big Ten-------------Iowa------------15------64.33
16- Mtn. West---------BYU-------------16------53.83
17- PAC TEN---------Oregon St.------17------45.08
18- Mtn. West---------Utah--------------18------59.42
19- Big XII----South-Texas Tech------19-------49.08
20- Big East-----------Cincinnati--------20-------61.83
21- Big East-----------Pittsburgh--------21-------57.45
22- Big Ten------------Wisconsin-------22-------80.73
23- ACC -----Coastal-Miami (FL)-----23-------52.33
24- SEC-------West----LSU-------------24-------49.42
25- Big East------------W. Virginia----25--------63.45



The current bowl seeding polls amount to popularity contests. Too many times schools from dense population areas with a lot of inherent media attention receive preferential treatment in the polls. This is just as true as ever in the media driven preseason polls this year. These early polls are simply eye catchers that the pollsters claim are based upon last season’s performance. But if you think about it, many of the highly rated teams in last year’s poll got there on the same problem I’m attempting to point out here, their 2009 Strength of Schedule left a lot to be desired then too.

Take a hard look at the poll up above and you’ll notice the consensus number one college football team this year (Alabama is first in the AP and USA Today polls) comes in fourth in the collegefootballpoll.com poll. This is a direct function of Alabama’s SOS rating being considered here. With an SOS of 40.08 it will be very difficult for Alabama to go undefeated. If they wade through the season and come out on the other side with just one loss, do you think the Crimson Tide would be deserving of a berth in the National Championship Game as the SEC Champion? Sure, it depends on who they lose to and when and where, but given the strength of their competition I believe a one loss Alabama should receive much greater consideration to play for the National Title than a team like Ohio State that most likely will go undefeated with their weak schedule and especially when you consider that eight of the Buckeye’s 12 game schedule will be played in the friendly confines of the Buckeye's home Horseshoe…

Based on the Strength of Schedule, the following Top 25 schools should have no problem staying at the top of the polls as the 2010 FBS season progresses:

-School-----Rank------SOS
Wisconsin---22--------80.73
TCU ---------3--------73.75
Oregon ------10--------70.83
Boise State----1--------64.58
Iowa---------15--------64.33
Ohio State-----6--------63.64
W. Virginia---25--------63.45
Nebraska------9---------63.42
Cincinnati----20---------61.83
Arkansas ---- 14---------60.75

Remember these teams at the end of the season…

Do you think any of them will deserve to be in the National Championship if they go undefeated given the quality of their opponents? I know, I know, it’s not their fault. Far too many times I’ve heard all the arguments why these college football “Powerhouses” shouldn’t be judged based upon their opponent’s strength. Then in the same breath I hear the defenders of the faith point out that teams like TCU and Boise State don’t deserve consideration for the very same reason. “They haven’t played anyone! Why do they deserve to be in a BCS Bowl?” It goes round and round. My answer to the problem? Take non-conference scheduling out of the hands of each school’s athletic administrators. Put the power to schedule non-conference games within the NCAA’s realm of decision making. An equitable scheduling system exclusively among the 120 Division I schools and I’m thinking all the arguments about Strength of Schedule or the lack of it would disappear. The so-called powerhouses might have to face each other at the beginning of the year rather than politicking to make it so at the end…

Finally, here’s how the various conferences stack up on their average Strength of Schedules:

--Conference --------- SOS
1 - Big XII-------------56.63
2 - SEC ---------------56.99
3 - PAC TEN ---------58.11
4 - ACC --------------60.19
5 - Mountain West ----63.97
6 - Big East -----------64.68
7 - Big Ten ------------67.68
8 - INDEPENDENTS-71.25
9 - CONUSA ---------71.92
10 - WAC ------------75.68
11 - MAC-------------81.88
12 - Sun Belt----------84.32

What's up with the Big Ten? Oh, yeah, I forgot... This is how they do business. I'm sure either Ohio State or Penn State will be undefeated. You can count on hearing how great they are late in the season and how much they deserve to be in the National Championship game... They certainly know how to work the system!

Resources:

http://www.collegefootballpoll.com/current_congrove_rankings.html
http://www.sportsnetwork.com/merge/tsnform.aspx?c=sportsnetwork&page=cfoot2/misc/tsn-div-1aa-poll.htm

Around the Racing World

NASCAR

A well-known NASCAR fixture over the past twenty years speaks up on Kyle Busch, Brad Keselowski, Jeff Gordon and Kevin Harvick. Check out this very insightful Q and A between Jeff Gordon’s former crew chief Ray Evernham and SceneDaily’s Bob Pockrass…

http://www.scenedaily.com/news/articles/sprintcupseries/Ray_Evernham_weighs_in_on_Kyle_Busch_Brad_Keselowski_Jeff_Gordon_and_Kevin_Harvick.html

Holly Cain’s article for AOL’s Fanhouse entitled “NASCAR's 'Dirty Dozen' Take 'Boys, Have at It' to Heart” includes the following 12 drivers that she calls the ‘Dirty Dozen’ when it comes to their driving tactics… I’ll list them as she did, in alphabetical order (Kristen you're driver's on top!):


Kurt Busch
Kyle Busch
Carl Edwards
Jeff Gordon
Robby Gordon
Kevin Harvick
Denny Hamlin
Brad Keselowski
Joey Logano
Juan Pablo Montoya
Ryan Newman
Tony Stewart

(Looks like most of our favorite drivers are on Cain's list. She must be a Jimmie Johnson fan…)

With the exception of Robby, Joey and Juan these drivers are all front runners. What’s that say?

Here’s the link to the Cain article and the poll that appears just below it:
http://motorsports.fanhouse.com/2010/08/24/nascars-dirty-dozen-take-boys-have-at-it-to-heart/

Poll Results
Who do you think is NASCAR's dirtiest driver?
Kyle Busch ------------ 31%--------1,224
Carl Edwards --------- 28%--------1,077
Brad Keselowski ----- 25%----------957
Juan Pablo Montoya -15%----------581
Denny Hamlin -------- 1%----------- 47
Total Votes -----------------------3,886

Oh yeah... One other thing-

Way to go Kyle! Four in a row!

Formula One

Want to take a spin? Here’s the track in virtual reality our own tez rates as possibly the best road course in the world. Belgium's SPA…

Indycars

I see that due to expanded entry lists over the final four races of the 2010 Indycar Series they’ve changed how the drivers shall qualify. Normally they average the speed of 4 timed laps to set the field. To save time these final races will use only 2 timed laps to determine average speed.

Here’s Danica Patrick on Indycar qualifying (as Gene would say, “Making excuses”) at Chicagoland…

Being from the west I have to say the last week here in Central Florida has been WET! We're over 10 inches of rain this month with a few days yet to go. Heck, that's a whole year's worth where I'm from! All while the daily temperature's been hovering around 90 degrees... I feel like a mold farmer!

I hope you're all having a good weekend!

Are You Pollish?

No... Not that kind of Polish, not from Eastern Europe. You know, Poll-ish...

Here are a few polls plucked from around the NASCAR media.

From - On Pit Row
http://onpitrow.com/

The Question???
Who is the best bet to stop Jimmie Johnson's Cup Run?


1. Jeff Gordon - The real drive for 5 (18%, 52 Votes)

2. Somebody. Anybody! (18%, 51 Votes)

3. Forget it. Just give him the trophy already (16%, 47 Votes)

4. Tony Stewart (14%, 41 Votes)

5. Mark - never too old - Martin (11%, 33 Votes)

6. Denny Hamlin - Who needs 2 knees anyway? (11%, 32 Votes)

7. The Rowdy One - Kyle Busch (8%, 24 Votes)

8. Cousin Carl Edwards (2%, 7 Votes)

Total Votes: 287
(Note: This must be a pretty old poll having Mark Martin included...)


From - Vegas Insider Poll
http://www.vegasinsider.com/auto-racing/

The Question???
Which driver has the best chance to stop Jimmie Johnson's championship run?


31% Jeff Gordon

20% Kurt Busch

7% Tony Stewart

7% Greg Biffle

35% Other

********************************************************************

Here are some quotes on the latest dust-up…

NASCAR Vice President of Competition Robin Pemberton concerning no penalties being levied on Kyle Busch or Brad Keselowski following their dust up last Friday night in Bristol’s Nation Wide race:
“Hard racing,” Pemberton said. “When you look at it, he pushed him around the corner and he said he did that. He didn’t hook him in the rear quarter panel. Those guys had been giving and taking all night long and all of that stuff came into play in a lap.
“You evaluate what real estate it was in and all that stuff. But at the end of the day, it was two guys racing hard. They were bumping and running and they were not giving each other any space if they didn’t have to in the closing laps of the race. Nobody else was involved.”
“We don’t expect to [talk with Busch],” Pemberton said. “If those guys develop some sort of history, we’ll look at it later on. But right now, those guys are racing pretty darn hard.”

So what’s Brad say he plans to do? “I’m going to go to work and work on beating his ass,” he said of Busch.

Kyle’s take on tangling with Brad?

“… that’s part of racing … short-track racing at Bristol. I worked on the guy for 12 or 15 laps to try to pass him, passed him clean, moved up in front of him in order to block his run or do a slide job, whatever you want to call it, cause my spotter said I was clear. He hits me in the back end, puts me in the wall and I thought to myself, ‘What would Dale Sr. do? What would Tony Stewart do? And who is the guy who just did it to me?’ So, those three questions were answered getting into Turn 3 and I had my mind made up and did what I did in order to try to win the thing.”

This leads up to the last two polls…
From - SceneDaily
http://www.scenedaily.com/news/polls/101387684.html?oid=2&mr=100&cid=8500492&pid=101387684

The Question???
Whose side are you on in the Brad Keselowski-Kyle Busch feud?

Busch. Keselowski had it coming for bumping Busch and aggressive tactics. 78% (904)

Keselowski. He was right to be mad and to call Busch “an ass.” 16% (190)

Neither. It was just a racing incident. 6% (68)

From - The Frontstretch
http://www.frontstretch.com/nbromberg/30940/

The Question???
Do you have sympathy towards Brad Keselowski after his latest wreck at Bristol?

No. Kyle Busch may have been out of line but he got what he deserved. 52% (46)

Yes. That was uncalled for. 48% (42)

There ya have it!

Ran across this photo and thought about you, Kristen...

Kids say the funniest things...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I guess Brad Keselowski's "Kyle Busch is an ass" statement before Saturday night's Bristol 500 drew the loudest crowd response ever registered in the big bowl, 104.2 decibels... Then he raced hard with Rowdy... Just before Kyle lapped 'em...

Like ol Dandy Don used to say...

"It ain't braggin' if you can do it!"

Now, take your best shots!

Out of the Box

Last week there was an article on NASCAR.COM by regular contributor Dave Rodman that caught my eye. I think this guy likes to think out of the box but I believe this idea has merit…

He suggests NASCAR should consider a 69 race Cup season instead of the current 36. How is this possible? Well… On all but three Sprint Cup events he proposes splitting the races in two. The sacred ground to be left undisturbed would be the Daytona 500, the Coca Cola 600 at CMS and the Brickyard 400. Races like the Pocono 500 or the 400 mile Michigan run would become 250 or 200 mile races respectively. The race we just witnessed at Bristol would go from 500 laps to 250. Rodman proposes having Saturday and then Sunday, same weekend races at each track and awarding full points for each race.

What gave Rodman this idea? He’d just witnessed this season’s 50 lap first time
truck race at Pocono. Rodman described it as, “a wham-bam action-packed format” that produced “the best Saturday crowd a number of veteran Pocono observers had seen in years”. The quick race pushes the drivers to a much higher level of competition. Now think about it, don’t you find yourself sitting on the edge of your seat watching these truck races? The end of the race is near, the drivers are right up on the wheel and the action can change the racing order at any time. They’re running three and four wide, bumpin’ and grindin’ all the way. The crowds love it… Just ask Gene Haddock how he felt coming away from the Too Tough To Tame 200 a couple of weeks ago at Darlington.

Check out the article. In it Rodman gives his thoughts on how practice and qualifying could be handled, the importance of having the race distance long enough to insure two pit stops allowing a higher degree of strategy and such things as television slotting and adding first place points to the final 15 races of the season. Rodman also has his ideas about what to do with this wonderful Chase format.

The fact of the matter is these drivers and their teams need to get back that
feeling of urgency. It’s like the will to win has been removed from these guys. The way it stands now we’ve got a bunch of top drivers that have the system (current point distribution and Chase) figured out. They’re doing just enough to make the field of twelve and what do the fans get? Lackadaisical single file performances.

Here’s the link to Dave Rodman’s ramblings:
http://www.nascar.com/2010/news/opinion/08/19/road.ramblings.drodman.schedule/index.html

* * * * * * *

Okay, something Gene brought up recently…

What would the current Cup standings look like if NASCAR’s point system was the same as Formula 1’s? (Awards 20 points for first place, 19 for second and so on down to 1 point for finishing 20th).


Here are all 68 drivers that have strapped in during the 2010 Cup Season. This is where they would rank under the F1 system with their rank under NASCAR’s current point scoring system to the right:

-----Formula 1 Points System----NASCAR
Place Driver -----------Points ----Cup Place
1 Kevin Harvick ---------319 ---------1
2 Jeff Gordon -----------249 ---------2
3 Carl Edwards ----------248 --------4
4 Kurt Busch ------------233 --------10
5 Kyle Busch ------------230 ---------3
6 Jimmie Johnson -------225 ---------9
7 Jeff Burton ------------220 ---------7
8 Matt Kenseth ---------218 ----------8
9 Tony Stewart ---------217 ----------6
10 Denny Hamlin -------216 ----------5
11 Greg Biffle -----------211 ---------11
12 Clint Bowyer --------205 ---------12
13 Juan Montoya -------184 ---------19
14 Jamie McMurray ----175 ---------13
15 Ryan Newman ------168 ----------15
16 Kasey Kahne --------167 ----------16
17 Mark Martin --------163 ----------14
18 David Reutimann ---160 -----------17
19 Dale Earnhardt Jr. --149 -----------18
20 Joey Logano --------145 -----------21
21 Martin Truex Jr. ----140 -----------20
22 A J Allmendinger ----126 -----------22
23 Marcos Ambrose ----107 -----------26
24 Paul Menard ---------93 -----------23
25 David Ragan ---------68 ------------24
26 Brian Vickers --------62 ------------36
27 Brad Keselowski -----58 ------------25
28 Sam Hornish Jr. -----49 ------------28
28 Scott Speed ---------49 ------------27
30 Robby Gordon ------36 ------------34
31 Elliott Sadler --------24 ------------29
32 Mike Bliss -----------23 -----------40
33 Reed Sorenson ------19 ------------41
33 Regan Smith --------19 ------------30
35 Boris Said -----------13 ------------47
36 Jan Magnussen ------9 ------------60
37 Bill Elliott ------------8 ------------42
37 Steve Park ----------8 -------------59
39 Kevin Conway -------7 -------------35
40 Bobby Labonte ------5 -------------31
41 David Gilliland-------4 -------------33
42 Andy Lally ----------3 -------------56
42 Michael Waltrip -----3 -------------51
42 Travis Kvapil -------3 --------------32
45 J.J. Yeley -----------2 -------------46
46 Aric Almirola -------0 --------------57
47 Casey Mears -------0 --------------43
48 Chad McCumbee ---0 --------------68
49 Dave Blaney -------0 --------------44
50 David Stremme ---0 --------------39
51 Geoff Bodine -------0 --------------67
52 Jacques Villeneuve -0 -------------64
53 Jeff Green ---------0 --------------63
54 Joe Nemechek -----0 --------------37
55 John Andretti ------0 --------------65
56 Johnny Sauter -----0 --------------58
57 Landon Cassill -----0 ---------------49
58 Mattias Ekstrom --0 ---------------62
59 Max Papis --------0 ---------------38
60 Michael McDowell 0 ---------------45
61 P.J. Jones ---------0 ---------------52
62 Patrick Carpentier 0 ---------------54
63 Rob Richardson Jr. 0 ---------------50
64 Ron Fellows -------0 ---------------66
65 Scott Riggs --------0 ---------------61
66 Terry Cook -------0 ----------------55
67 Todd Bodine ------0 ----------------48
68 Tony Raines ------0 ----------------53

The top positions are much the same as the current point accounting system… I guess they’re doing something right.

On to Atlanta!

This just came to my attention... It's not a joke. The city of Philadelphia is forcing it's citizens who have reported income from internet based business transactions (including being paid by advertisers) to obtain a business license. The cost is $300 per year. Nice, huh?

Is this where the government is going now?

In case you're interested, here's the link to the newspaper article:

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/philly-requiring-bloggers-to-pay-300-for-a-business-license-101264664.html

Remember to vote...